


You Made Me Love You (I Didn't Want to Do It)

by fandomfix



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Armitage Hux Has Feelings, Basically there is no specific spot in the timeline for this, Darth Tantrum and his Evil Space Ginger, Emotional Constipation, He's not ok with it, Introspection, M/M, Twisted and Fluffy Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-05
Updated: 2019-05-05
Packaged: 2020-02-26 01:19:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,770
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18713593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fandomfix/pseuds/fandomfix
Summary: Kylo Ren has a temper. Armitage Hux hates how it makes him feel.And then Kylo gets hurt while on a mission.





	You Made Me Love You (I Didn't Want to Do It)

**Author's Note:**

> *pokes head out* Happy Star Wars Day! I really wanted to write something for today and shockingly the muse listened, so have my first kylux in about five months! Yay! It's obviously been a while so I apologize if they seem wildly ooc :)
> 
> In case you missed it in the tags, there is no clear place for this in the SW timeline. it's some ambiguous time that I can't pinpoint. Just know that nobody has thrown anybody into a wall and our two main boys are just out here living their best lives.
> 
> Enjoy!

It didn’t take much to anger Kylo.

This wasn’t a life altering statement. No one would be shocked by this revelation. In fact, Hux was sure everyone had known since the man came into contact with the Order for the first time

Kylo was a temper tantrum in a person. A rolling ball of anger and undeserved power and emotions too strong for one person to keep under control.

Hux hated how attracted he was to it.

It was the opposite of everything he had strived for the past thirty years of his life. Every choice he’d made was measured, counted, and planned for. He’d done everything in his power to work his way to the top without ever ruffling a single hair on his head.

But when Kylo pushed him into darkened hallways, and ran his sweaty, filthy hands over Hux’s entire body, he felt warm desire flooding through him.

He didn’t know when the dalliance had begun. Didn’t know how drunk he must have been to allow the first brush of Kylo’s fingers—and his mind—to touch him. When sneering at Kylo in front of the crew began leading to fingers pushing his clothes off in the dark. Lips brushing all over as Hux grasped for whatever he could get a hold of.

He didn’t know when Kylo’s presence began mattering to him.

These were not thoughts he should be having at this exact moment, standing on the bridge watching Kylo stalk away with Phasma. He should be relieved to see the back of him. Irritated by the sigh of relief the entire crew gave at his departure. Guilty that now the other man was Phasma’s problem for the day. Instead he wished he was going with them.

It was a simple mission. There had been strange readings from the moon orbiting one of their controlled planets. Rumors were circulating that it was the Resistance, and orders were for Hux to eliminate any threat that was found.

Hux immediately made it Kylo’s problem, telling him that he was their best pilot (the easiest way to flatter him) and he should be the one to fix it.

Kylo might be an angry man-child, but he was also an excellent bloodhound. Sending him out to deal with Hux’s problems was always the best solution for everyone.

It didn’t stop the twinge of concern that bubbled in the bottom of his belly. It didn’t stop his eyes for drifting to the hallway that lead to the hangar bay. Didn’t keep him from wishing he had a good excuse to follow them and see them off.

Longing for any reason to wish Kylo well.

*

Several hours later found him in his quarters. He’d finally been able to convince his mind to calm. Finally reasoned himself into believing there was nothing to fear. The troopers were disposable, Phasma knew what she was doing, and Kylo wouldn’t listen even if Hux ordered him to retreat. They’d be fine.

Still, leaving the bridge and allowing relief crew to take over had felt like a betrayal. Felt like him putting Kylo’s life at risk.

He idly ran his fingers over his stomach as he read request forms, when a message hail came through.

“This is General Hux,” he said, doing nothing to hide the irritation from his voice. “What is it?”

“Sir, Captain Phasma and her team have returned. She is on her way to you to make a report.”

Hux closed his eyes, taking a deep breath.

He made some sort of acknowledgement, hanging up immediately after. Phasma didn’t just ‘come to his quarters’ to report. She only sought him out like this if something went wrong.

And most things that went wrong on Phasma’s missions were Ren related.

He couldn’t calm the sudden nausea that overtook his stomach, or the panic over why she would come to him this way. It didn’t help that he had suspicions about how much Phasma knew. He knew she was friendly with Kylo, despite their differing command styles. He knew she was loyal to Hux to a fault, that nothing would ever sway her from the Order. He knew she wouldn’t break protocol to speak to him directly without reason.

However, he _also_ knew he’d heard her boots striding away from one of their favorite hallways to hide in last month.

But none of this mattered. There was a sound at his door and before he could say another word, Phasma stomped in.

“Captain,” he said, his voice tense. “What could have been so important that you felt the need to seek me out. Could this not have waited the ten minutes it would have taken to secure a meeting room?”

She lifted her helmet off, giving him a clear view of her exhausted face. Yellow hair stuck to her forehead, and he could see the deep breaths she was taking.

“Forgive me, general.” She replied, not sounding the least bit sorry. “I assumed you’d want to hear about this without anyone else present.”

He raised his eyebrow, but refused to rise to that bait. She wanted him to ask about the mission. He assumed it went well, since they hadn’t even been gone a full day cycle, but her face looked tired. There were stress lines near her eyes. For all that she was trying to irritate him, she wouldn’t have sought him out if everything went smooth.

After too many moments of silence, she finally continued. “The rumors were correct. There was a Resistance presence orbiting the moon. It looked to be a satellite group, not the main ship, but we still destroyed them. I left troopers behind to finish clearing the surface, ensure no one is hiding out. Fortunately, the moon is inhospitable, and there have been no reports of any unidentified crafts landing on the planet. We will keep an eye on it sir.”

He narrowed his eyes.

“Captain, you didn’t come here to waste my time. So far, I’ve heard nothing you couldn’t have reported officially. In fact, it sounds like you should still be there, not back here. I’ll ask one more time, why did you seek me out?”

She nodded, her lips thinning. It always amused Hux how much Phasma and Kylo relied on their masks to hide their faces. Both were far too expressive with them off.

“There was only one problem in our fight against the Resistance. One of the fighters was badly damaged, almost completely destroyed. The troopers and myself were able to salvage it and the pilot, but there was severe damage. We had to return quickly to ensure the pilot was not lost.”

Normally, his stomach swooped with joy and self-disgust at the mention of Kylo. Now, it dropped. His face must have betrayed him, because Phasma seemed to know exactly what he was thinking.

“He’s in the medbay now. They said he should be fine, that they’re only going to keep him for a few days to ensure everything heals. And knowing Lord Ren, he’ll be escaping to his quarters by tomorrow evening at the latest.”

His face went blank. He felt the corner of his lips tighten, and knew one of his hands had reached behind him to grasp the edge of his chair. But he remained standing, not the slightest wobble of his legs or flash of concern in his eyes.

It was still enough for her to know.

“I thought you’d want to know immediately, sir. Forgive me for barging in. But I knew if we waited to inform you, that you’d be…displeased.”

“Thank you, Phasma.” He was proud to hear how strong his voice was. How unconcerned he sounded. He tried to ignore the slightest uptick in his breathing. “Am I to assume that Lord Ren is awake, then?”

Her hesitation, although brief, was not missed.

“Not exactly, sir. He stayed awake on the flight back, but passed out almost immediately upon arrival. Honestly sir, if he’d held in formation during the skirmish, he might have been fine. But his temper…”

She trailed off and he didn’t need more details. He could see it now. Probably one of the resistance pilots said something mocking and Kylo’s hackles rose. Instead of thinking with his head, he reacted with his emotions and almost got himself blown up.

Typical Kylo.

“Thank you, Captain. I expect your written report by this evening. Dismissed.”

He waved a hand in her direction, no longer looking her way.

She swept from the room, stopping only long enough to replace her helmet. Silence greeted him once more as he heavily reclaimed his seat at the desk.

*

He couldn’t get comfortable. He’d been lying in bed for an hour now, unmoving and unable to keep his eyes closed. He stared at his darkened ceiling, missing the feel of fingers running over his shoulders. The feel of teeth pulling on his earlobe. Lips teasing on his own, pulling away without ever making complete contact.

His mind wouldn’t shut down. Wouldn’t stop seeing the explosion of a TIE fighter. Wouldn’t stop imagining Phasma instead telling him about the loss of Kylo’s life.

The churning of his stomach made him sneer. He hated this. Hated that he couldn’t stop thinking about Ren dead. He hated everything the man represented. His vanity and his self-importance and, and—

His voice when he was subtly mocking people. His soft whispers caressing Hux’s ears at night. The feel of his mind gently touching Hux’s.

His derisive laugh that warmed something within Hux.

“Ridiculous.” He muttered, flinging himself out of bed. There was only one thing to do. If his mind wouldn’t shut up, then he must do something to make it calm. Prove to his treacherous belly—for that was all it was, he refused to think otherwise—that Ren was fine. Then he’d be able to sleep.

He stomped through the hallways toward medbay, ignoring how loud his footsteps sounded. It wasn’t like anyone was going to be wandering the halls this late. It wasn’t like anyone was going to stop him.

Finally entering the room, he looked around to see it was deserted. He knew the droids would come running at the slightest disturbance but it was otherwise silent.

Save for the soft breathing coming from the back corner.

He looked that way, rolling his eyes at the shadows covering the bed. _‘Of course he goes for the dark corners, even in the bloody medbay.’_

He moved, his steps now much quieter. He couldn’t decide if he wanted Kylo to wake up and see him, or not. He didn’t know what he wanted to achieve here.

It wasn’t like he was a concerned lover. It wasn’t like they were friends. They were co-workers, acquaintances at best. Sure, they slept together—frequently. Slipped away from their duties to touch every bit of each other—often. Sure, they’d nearly kissed more times than Hux cared to count. But there was no reason for him to be this unsettled over the still figure in front of him.

No reason for the relief washing over him as he heard the soft breaths.

For some time, he stood and stared at the figure on the bed. If their places were reversed, he would have given Kylo hell for looming over him, but he couldn’t get himself to move. Couldn’t drag his eyes from the slow movement of Kylo’s chest. The fluttering of the hair clinging to his cheeks. The minute flexing of his fingers on the bed.

His skin was flushed. His brow was furrowed, even in sleep. There was a slight thrum in the air implying incomplete control over his powers.

Hux stepped forward.

He sat on the edge of the bed, and felt the shift in the air. How it momentarily felt too heavy, before immediately relaxing. Almost as if even in sleep, Kylo recognized him.

It took everything in him not to reach out. Not to hold Kylo’s hand like some sort of sentimentalist, not to lean forward and breathe the same air for a moment. He didn’t know what had overcome him, where all this _emotion_ was coming from.

Before he could pull himself together, there was a fluttering of Kylo’s eyelids. That was the only warning Hux received before he was falling into the ugly, muddy, ‘ _lovely_ ’ eyes of Kylo Ren.

“Hux?” Kylo whispered, voice still sticky with disuse and tinged with confusion. “What time is it?”

Hux didn’t know how to respond, how to explain his presence, when it made little sense to himself. How to explain that nothing would convince him to go to sleep until he _saw_ that Kylo wasn’t on the verge of death.

“Late.” He didn’t know how to say more.

Kylo squinted through the darkness at him, hand lifting slightly before falling back to the bed as if the movement pained him. If Phasma was to be believed, it did.

He cleared his throat, glancing away so that he could escape the invisible hold Kylo’s eyes held over him.

“I hear you were an idiot today. That you let your temper get the better of you… _again._ TIE fighters are even more expensive than equipment, you know this right?”

He put his hand down on the bed, keeping his fingers _just_ out of Kylo’s reach. It was only a minute though, before he felt the brush of finger tips against his own. He refused to look down.

“I didn’t predict the pilot’s movements like I should have. He mocked the Order. I couldn’t stand for it.”

Hux scoffed, still not looking down. He moved his hand the smallest bit, allowing their fingers to overlap.

“Since when do you care about anything other than yourself? The Order could burn around you and as long as you had your vengeance you wouldn’t spare a thought for the rest of us.”

“Perhaps,” he acknowledged. The pit in Hux’s stomach warmed at the honesty. He knew if he looked at Kylo there would be the smallest of curves to his lips. But Kylo’s next words dragged his attention back to the present.

“But not when he insulted you.”

Hux moved his head enough to look at Kylo from the corner of his eye. His expression demanded explanation.

“He said things about you. Insulted your intelligence, your ability to lead. I couldn’t stand for it.”

Hux turned fully, glaring down at the man scowling in the bed.

“You question me daily. Multiple times daily, in fact.”

“Yes, but that’s _me_.”

It took everything in Hux not to burst into laughter at the childish response. Even then, he couldn’t completely dampen the small smile on his lips.

Kylo continued.

“I shouldn’t have let my temper get the best of me. Don’t tell anyone else I agreed with you, but you’re right. It could have ended _badly_ for me. But I’m the only one allowed to insult you.”

Hux stared at the man before him. His stomach twisted with warmth. He might need to admit—at least to himself—that it wasn’t his stomach feeling all this for the man before him. That he was more attached than he’d planned.

Without even realizing it, he pulled his hand from Kylo’s. He didn’t notice the flash of disappointment, or the confusion when he instead lifted it to rest in Kylo’s hair.

“You are an angry, spoiled child. You could have died today.” He brushed hair from Kylo’s forehead.  “I’m glad you didn’t.”

They stared at each other for a moment, the thrum of Kylo’s powers the only source of sound around them.

“Hux, I’m s—”

Hux didn’t let him finish. He reached down, pressing his lips first to Kylo’s cheek, then after a moment of hesitation, leaning in to kiss him. It didn’t take long for those long, filthy fingers to grasp at his hair. When they finally separated, they stared at each other for a moment. Neither of them let go.

Hux could sense all the unspoken feelings between them. He felt all too aware of the disgust he should be feeling but wasn’t. Could see the battle against his own emotions happening in Kylo’s face.

He really was too expressive without the mask.

Slowly, Hux disentangled them. The kiss still tingled at his lips, but now wasn’t the time for admitting to things neither of them was ready for. He reached one last time for the hand falling from his hair, squeezing the fingers before letting go.

“Good night, Kylo. Get better.”

He stood, turning to leave. “Good night, Hux.” He heard whispered behind him.

He smiled the whole way to his quarters.

**Author's Note:**

> About halfway through writing this I realized I was unconsciously channeling [this](https://fandomfix8.tumblr.com/post/162649353367/suzannart-as-if-you-left-the-medbay-cam-once-last) amazing piece of art. So even though the fic isn't really based off of it, it was an inspiration so go shower it with love!
> 
> Come say hey on [twitter](http://www.twitter.com/fandomfix8) and [tumblr](http://fandomfix8.tumblr.com)!


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